I Hate Birds

Remember my rant about clocks?

Yeah, this rant is similar except it's about birds.

Apparently the clocks have gotten birds to join their forces to fight against me.

Lucky me.

You see two days ago I was assembling a wheelbarrow (and no, it didn't go well) in my garage (I was getting paid to do this), where, out of nowhere, this bird tries to violently attack me.

Luckily I was separated from it - thank goodness for strong walls and windows.

But I'm getting ahead of myself and probably leaving you scratching your head and saying "what the heck is she talking about?".

It all started on Tuesday April 29, it was about 6:15 pm and I was reading a fashion magazine. My stepdad comes up to me and asks if I want to make some moohlah. I was like heck yes!

He took me out to my garage (a disgusting, filthy mess of a room) and told me to assemble this wheelbarrow he bought. I was like, "okay, but if I go to the emergency room, you're telling mom that it was your fault.

Me + Tools = Nightmare

He assured me that I was going to be fine. After making sure I had everything I needed, he left me to it. About 5 minutes in I realized that none of the pieces fit (and they didn't!) and I was mad.

I became more agitated when I heard this repeating "thud" noise. I mean, I was already mad and this annoying noise was making me even madder.

I look up to the one window in our garage and see this ugly bird flying against the window. If I didn't know better I would swear it was out looking for my blood.I got a little nervous. Make that beyond nervous.

I've never liked birds, with their beady little eyes and sharp beaks, well to be honest, they kind of freak me out.

Either it was one dumb bird or one seriously determined bird because it kept flying into the window.

I didn't want to take my chances - I bolted leaving the wheelbarrow unfinished.I figured that my life was probably better then a few measly bucks.

In conclusion, I now also hate birds, and everytime I see one I will think of this day and that bird that tried to kill me.

I'll never be safe again.

Plus they're ew.

R-r-roll Up the Rim - DAMN

Next thing I want to blog on is Tim Horton's roll up the rim (before last saturday).

I think that someone has cursed me when it comes to those things. I mean, seriously cursed me. Mega cursed.Why? Because I do not win.

Ever.

In all the years that they've run the contest, I've never won. I've never been able to feel the immense satisfaction of being a "winner". I've never felt warm and gooey inside because I've never won.

The cup says 1 in 9 odds.

Yeaahhhh right.

I've had like 25 cups so far - this time alone, and nada. Nothing to show for this.Everytime I go to open my cup my hopes are raised, only to be crushed. Every single time.Until last Saturday that is.

Brace yourself.

The way it all went down is my sister had a basketball tournament, and I, with nothing better to do, decided to go with her and my father. I had to get up at 5:45, because we were leaving at 6:20. I didn't actually get up until 6:15, but that's beside the point. I took my blanket and pillow inside the car so I could resume sleeping once we began our voyage. I did. Only to be prodded (inhumanely) awake once we reached the fine London Tim Horton's establishment so I could give my order. I got a large hot chocolate and a toasted sesame bagel with plain cream cheese. I wasn't entirely awake, nor did I want to be awake, so I once again resumed sleeping, leaving my hot chocolate and bagel for later.That's when things started to get really weird.

I had a dream, where I won roll up the rim. I woke up, and had my bagel and hot chocolate. As I went to roll up the rim I got this weird tingly feeling.I saw "gagner" which I realized was the french word for win.

I finally won! I was in shock, and I'm sad to admit, shaking from excitement.

It was a coffee!I was on top of the world.And that was just the beginning.

Shortly after, my sister played a basketball game. They won. Which may not seem like such a big deal, but you have to appreciate it - her team rarely wins.

After the game we had about 5 hours to kill before her next game, but not to worry, I managed to convince my dad to take me semi dress shopping. Which killed sometime. But, again, you have to understand he never takes me shopping (which is just as well considering when he does he just goes straight to the shoe department to sit down and whine).

I found the perfect dress. It's vintage, and nothing like anything else that you will see at semi. It's perfect - simply no other word for it.

After that we went to Tim's again. When I got my hot chocolate I got that tingly feeling. Before rolling up my rim I made my dad promise that if I won again he would buy a lottery ticket that I picked out.

I won! Again!

A donut.

But still. That's twice in one day. And I'd never won before. Ever.

I was feeling pretty awesome. It was the perfect day.My sister's team also won again! It was their longest winning streak of the season. (No lies)

After, we headed home, and true to his promise my dad stopped at a grocery store and let me pick out a lottery ticket. I picked Cash for Life.

But the tingly feeling wasn't there.

It was a pretty darn good day.

:)

Let's Pull the Moon From the Sky and Have Spring!

Today, after having our lunches, myself and an accomplice wandered around the school, as we often do when we're bored. After traisping through the English and Tech hall, we proceeded to inch down to our next class, which just so happened to be in the English wing.

During this time, mainly because we have nothing better to do, we often debate on certain, mostly insane, things. We call it intellectuall stimulus, and yes, it does make us feel better about ourselves.

Today I brought up the topic. It was an idea. Something that I recall having heard in the seventh grade from my science teacher. At the time I wrote this idea off as insane and that the person wanted to kill us all. But, after I thought about it, I like this idea - although it is doubtful that it will ever be reality.

We all know that the Earth is on a tilt, providing us with seasons (or at least, I hope we all know this). Well the concept is centred around that fact. A few years ago a guy came up with the idea if we pull the moon down it could re-centre the earth, so there is no more tilt. No tilt would provide us with spring all year round, instead of extreme weather conditions.

Back when I was an ignorant, narrow-minded child, I immediately disliked the idea. The reaction that I had was somewhat like the following, "That psychopath is going to kill us all! How the hell is he going to pull the moon from the sky? Where is the moon going to fall? What will happen to the people that live there? Basically: what is this guy smoking?"

My friend had a similar reaction. She asked me what I was smoking as well.

Now my opinion has completely changed. This may be crazy. I like crazy. But if you think about it, in theory it should work. It. could. work.

Now, that excites me. As much as I like winter, I don't. At all.I'm giddy at the thought of spring forever! I love spring. Not too hot, not too cold.

Still the skeptic my friend asked how they would get the moon down. Duh. I replied, "it's so simple, you just get this big lasso, tie it around the moon a few times and drag it down!" It could work. After I said that we laughed at me for about 5 minutes.

But in all seriousness, I'm sure that mankind could find a way. After all, we've done many things, in which we once thought were impossible. I don't think that this could be to much of a challenge.

You might have a similar reaction as my friend did. That's okay. But I really do encourage you to think about it more. How cool would it be if we actually did this?

Beyond cool.

Think outside the box now and then.

It's official..

I'm fighting a war.

Against household appliances.

The clock attack that I mentioned before was apparently just the start of it. But it seems that all my appliances have something against me. I've been attacked numerous of times since the clock.

My appliances are conspiring together, against me.I thought that I cared well for them over the years. I generously allowed them to stay in my warm home, rather then on the cold, harsh store shelves.

I thought it was enough!

It wasn't.

My hair dryer burned me, along with my straightner. My digital clock is on the fritz, telling me the wrong time. The toaster refused to work, leaving me with a cold bread. Blech.Yes, I know that all those events sound horrible but there was one in particular that pushed me over the egde.

An incident, with a microwave.Basically the microwave blew up. Spewed nasty smelling smoke and set off the smoke alarm. As well as burning my chocolate rock solid, and cracking a plate in half.The microwave sacraficed itself to get me in trouble.

My mother destroyed me.And she didn't believe a word about how the appliances are plotting against me.

Why?

All I got to say is this war is so ON!

I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

I do believe myself to be a courageous battler against household appliances, but mine might be too much for me.

I hate clocks

Yes. There I said it. I simply despise clocks. For numerous of reasons. But I especially despise them after what happened to me today.

So why the hate against innocent clocks?, you may ask. Well I shall explain, but let me clear up one thing, clocks are anything but innocent.

I suppose the hatred can be traced back to my childhood. It's the pressure that they emit on children. Whenever I was late, I could just feel the glare of the clock. "Hurry up, hurry up" "You will never make it, never".

I'm sorry, but I just can't put up with that kind of nonsense. It continued throughout my entire childhood. Now, everytime that I see a clock, anger runs through my veins, my fists clench. I hate them with all my heart. Always setting impossible standards, mocking us when we fail.

Now, you may be thinking that I need a psychoanalyist, and while you may be right, I should tell you what happened to me this morning. It was something that only strengthened my ill feelings. I was attacked by a clock this morning.

No really, I was.

There is a clock in my room above my door. It is fairly large, made out of hard plastic and is quite heavy, oh and apparently, it has a grunge against me. I was just minding my own business, a little upset that someone took the last bagel for breakfast, so I decided to go on msn and complain about my brother. As I walked in the door of my room, BANG! The clock fell... on my head :'(. It made quite a lot of noise too.

Well that hurt, alot. I had to go lay down for a while. It still hurts, I have a little goose egg on my head from where it hit. When my sister saw me she asked what happened. I told her, she, with everyone else, laughs everytime they see me. Nice to know that they find that funny.

That incident cemented my feelings about clocks. Nothing will ever change the way I view them now; little house appliances that attack innocent people.

That clock is now still on my floor, it shall be in the garbage soon though, I'm just a little scared to go near it - in the fear that it might attack me, again.

So hear my warning folks, get rid of your clocks! They are plotting revenge against you! Especially make sure that you remove heavy ones from above your door. That's pretty much asking for the clock to hurt you, so I learned today.

Ouch!

Lakes and Oceans

So as some of you know, I live in K-tore(home of the creek, pond, variety store and four way stoplight), and yes it's a blast. Yes, I could blog on all the terrific times that I've had living in that quaint village. But I've decided to, mostly because I am bored, to tell you about my walk home (from the bus stop) today.

Yes, it's very true. I have to walk from a bus stop. It's awful. By the time I get home from my very long and very exhausting walk my legs feel as if they are going to fall off. There is only one word to describe that walk, treacherous. Yes, I said it. It's a perilous journey. I have to walk from the variety store all the way to the outskirts of town, in which I happen to reside in. Luckily, I have my sister to carry me when I feel like I just can't make it.
However, today, I was feeling quite energetic and felt able to complete the walk, all on my own. In fact I even had energy to spare! A rare occurrence indeed. I managed to not only walk all the way, but also to talk to my sister on the way as well. The majority of our conversation was focused on Lakes and Oceans.

It began when she saw the lovely K-tore pond. She told me that she wanted to go swimming. I agreed, I said that I wish we could go swimming in the ocean again. She gave me a peculiar look, asking when had I ever been swimming in the ocean. I replied, all the time, like twice a summer. She asked me if I was sure I wasn't making it up. I said I was sure. Because we do! Then, after a few minutes of silence while she digested my piece of information, she piped up, do you mean the lake? Yeah, I guess I did, I told her. Thus sparking a big debate on lakes vs oceans, lasting at least five minutes.

You see, even though many argue that I am quite the genius (:D), I can not distinguish between Oceans and Lakes if my life depended on it. In fact I question why we bother calling them to different things. Obviously it's to confuse people, even the intelligent ones, like me. It's most likely the government's doing. (:D) They get a kick out of confusing the masses.

So, after she attempted to discourage me from using the term ocean (she failed) we got into a fight about why I would want to go the "ocean". She claimed that whenever we go I refuse to go into the water and therefore there is no point in me even going. I said I don't go into the water because there is stuff in it (Blech.. it's like bathing in a tub of waste) but that shouldn't be the only reason I, or anyone else, would go to the beach. Her, quite nasty may I say, response was that what else would people do there? I retorted that the reason that I go to the Ocean is to play in the sand!! She asked what happens when those sand lovers get hot, I said they pour water on them. She then asked where from, I said from sanitary bottles of water. She then said I was a tool. Ending the debate, and also declaring me the winner (she had nothing left to say). I was a good day. I do believe that I can go head to head with the best of them.

There really wasn't a point to this blog but I wanted to tell all you cynicals out there, (heehemm Stephanie) that a person can go to the OCEAN and not have to swim in the water. They can play in the sand!

Oh, and those who say that pouring water from water bottles is a waste, well I reuse the bottles, because, I do actually care about the environment.