Confessions of a Sunscreen Addict

Do you know how impossibly frustrating it is to want to write, and yet, words can't seem to come out in a coherent sense? No matter how hard you try, the words that miraculously manage to form on to the paper are completely dull, and hopelessly contrived. And then you feel angry, angry that you can't express yourself, angry that you can't write, even though it is the simplest thing ever, and it's what you were born to do. Angry that you can't be who you once were, and have stories, thoughts, desires, just spill out in this perfect poetic prose. And then you just feel like giving up, so everything that you want to say remains bottled up, and festers inside of you. It just festers, and festers, and festers until you start crying, slam down your laptop, and hate yourself. Then you actually give up entirely, and before long you just stop writing and lose a piece of yourself completely, a piece that won't come back -- do you know what that feels like? It fucking sucks. It's fucking draining, I'm dying inside and nothing will come out. I reread my words, and they're so fucking bad, I just want to throw up.

How did I get to this place?