Soo, I had Pad Thai for the very first time today ... and as soon as I typed that I immediately thought of Madonna's 'Like a Virgin'. I don't even know why I know that song, since anyone who knows me knows I'm practically a music noob. I also don't know why I'm telling you that's what I thought of, since it probably doesn't leave the greatest of impressions ... I swear, my mind isn't in the gutter! ... At least not all the time.
Basically, I lost my Thai virginity today - that's what I'm trying to get at in a very unorthodox and roundabout way. And I finally got there, huzzah.
Platypus. Yeah that's right. I just felt like randomly inserting 'platypus'. So I did; I have great powers that allow me to do so - be jealous. Or just make your own blog and then you can insert all the words you want into posts like 'explosive diarrhea', 'bulbous' and 'spattergroit'. NO! Self, must not give others ideas like this! Don't want other people to write blogs and steal all your readers! Won't survive if this happens!
How schizophrenic do I sound right now? Because I'm thinking it's somewhere along the lines of very very. Oh, and if you pictured me saying that while hitting myself on the head with a caveman club, your picture is quite accurate I'll admit. Except I don't have a caveman club so I had to settle for this mini baseball bat souvenir from a Toronto Blue Jays game that I went to when I was a young'un.
Anyway, I went to a restaurant, had a very stimulating conversation which made me feel all intellectual like ... actually, no, not really, it's summer. And then I ate. Pad Thai. Which I've already established. I don't like being redundant, yet I find myself being incredibly redundant. And instead of deleting these words, I'm continuing on typing them, which is the epitome of redundancy in and of itself. Oh, did I mention I despise redundancy? ... How's that for being redundant?
THIS IS MADNESS .... THIS IS REDUNDANCY!
Hehem, carrying on, the Pad Thai was good, a little bit of spicy and at one point I thought that my mouth was going to combust, but then I just used my brain and just drank some water and after that it was s'all good (I know, I'm brilliant). I didn't finish it all, which, if you know me, isn't surprising since I never finish anything at a restaurant but I was feeling good: my tummy was all warm, fuzzy and full.
(Me eating the spicy Pad Thai)
When I got back to my house a mere few hours later, all of a sudden I was extremely tired. I barely made it to my bed before I crashed into a fitful sleep during which I vaguely remember dreaming about babysitting an alligator that kept biting my hands off(a recurring dream of mine nonetheless).
I woke up a few hours later, 3 to be exact, and that's when things started to get weird. I woke up, drenched in sweat might I add, and ran downstairs because I was supposed to do the dishes before my mudder got home (thankfully my sister covered for me). However, as I was walking back to my room I experienced the strangest sensation in which it felt like I had no arms or legs, merely just a nub of a chest - it almost felt like floating in a sense.
When I got back to my room, I just sat on my bed and looked at the floor. For a good 20 minutes ... The carpet colour (black) was highly amusing to me and I, again, had a hard time believing it was real. At one point I was petting it, and then lying down on it rolling around.
I've had this carpet for seven years now - and despite what you may think, I just don't go rolling around on it for no reason, nor do I have I ever believed it's not real.
After that I couldn't get up off the floor, so I just laid down I waved my hands in front of my face and then I had this deep discussion with my self about how weird thumbs and fingers really are, all the while trying to pull them off my hand. Yes, literally pull them off - in case you're wondering, it didn't work and then I stopped because it started to hurt (no duh huh?).
(Me whacked out on Pad Thai)
The whole thing was weird, and when I think it's weird, you know it's weird. I still feel a little funny. I should probably go try to sleep it off now.
PS. Yeah, explosive diarrhea, bulbous and spattergroit were the first three words popped in my head, what does that tell you about me? NO! I do NOT need psychoanalysis thank you very much. I'm a normal and sane as the next person, aside from the very minor difference that I'm psychic and stuff.
PPS. In case you're wondering how I could babysit an alligator that kept biting my hands off, its simple; you see, I have the power of regeneration. Duh.
PPPS. Clearly you can tell that I'm still under the influence of this Pad Thai because this post is ... weird. Even I realize it's weird. Which probably means that it's weird to the power of ten and you're mind blown right now because I've reached new elements of weirdness. Or just really confused. Either way, I think my mission has been accomplished.
PPPPS. In retrospect, the grooviness I experienced could have also just been a result of the fact that I only got two hours of sleep last night, but sshh ... I like the Pad Thai explanation way better.
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